Because you can't often physically escape the building in which you spend 40 hours a week or more, which is an eternity if you can't stand your co-workers, you'll have to try a more proactive approach. My first rule in these situations is: Kill 'em with kindness. In every interaction, attempt to provide four times more positive comments than negative or hostile ones. That ratio seems to create a critical mass for turning foes into friends.

Second, strive to be calm and polite during any hostile or unpleasant encounters, which should be enough to defuse a co-worker's irate attitude, or at least make him or her weary of attacking you. Next, enlist a neutral third party, such as a friendly co-worker, manager, or someone in human resources who can act as a sounding board, or even as a mediator between you and unfriendly compatriots when friction occurs.

Finally, keep a current resumé prepared. Doing so can help remind you of your accomplishments, thereby raising your esteem and diminishing your co-workers' negative effect on you. And if the above suggestions don't help refresh your enthusiasm, an up-to-date resumé will assist you in moving on from a toxic situation to a happier one. E